Learning to fall.

17 Apr

Bear with me here…I’m on night four of some crazy nocturnal tummy/digestive bug, which wakes me up about every hour or so to go to the bathroom…so this post may be the result of lack of sleep leading to cheesiness, or being overly reflective.


At Full Frame I saw this amazing documentary called “In the Garden of Sounds” about this blind guy that uses music/sound to help kids living with disabilities ranging from Autism to Cerebral Palsy (CP). One of the kids he’s working with is a girl with CP, and at their first meeting she will only try to walk a few steps because she is terrified of falling. The first thing Wolfgang, the blind guy, teaches her is how to fall. He teaches her to put her arms in front of her when she falls forward, so she won’t slam her face into the ground. He helps her develop a technique for falling backward so she can’t hurt her back. Once she knows she can fall and be okay, her life starts to change. Over months she begins to walk longer distances,  learns how to speak more clearly, and by the end of the doc she is going to school with friends, riding the train by herself and running laps (CP style) in her gym class.

So…here is what this movie made me think about…

In my twenties I feel like I learned a lot about myself, who I am, how to take risks, and what I’m good at. Mostly I tried to “be cool”, make everyone like me and not cause any problems that could lead to confrontation.  I wanted to keep things easy, breezy, beautiful.

Now that I’m in my thirties, I feel like I’m learning how to fall. The past couple of years have been a little rough with my dear friend dieing and my developing diabetes and dealing with all the other bullshit side effects (e.g. nocturnal tummy bug I think is related to my new meds). I’ve also had to, on occasion, take a stand about something I feel strongly about and inevitably piss someone off…and then feel like a big piece of shit about it, but still, somehow, make myself feel okay about it. Most of my friends have also dealt with some heavy life stuff too. We are all just learning to fall I think. The more heavy shit happens, the better we learn to deal with it, find that fucking silver lining, and keep moving forward. We learn how to fall, extend our arms and save our faces from smashing into the ground.

Don’t worry, my next post will be more humorous. I’ll blog the Mexican tranny that lives down the street from me or the kid that farted real loud during my resume presentation at work, and then said “My bad.”


One Response to “Learning to fall.”

  1. meagan April 19, 2011 at 8:17 pm #

    Your blog does not have to be humourous in order to be compelling, interesting, real….Your thoughts are always a true currency, value-ful; funny or serious.

    I like the way you put things out there.

    I hope your tummy feels better.

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